About my Writings

   Surely everyone, who has become aware and is able to care, from Targeted Individuals and their families on up to the highest government officials, have struggled with how to handle this horrible situation. . .and have made mistakes along the way. And I can not help but feel that mistakes, when not hidden or erased, are lessons to learn and grow from. . .for ourselves as well as others. And in sharing the mistakes we enable misunderstandings and blame to be replaced by understanding and forgiveness. I am asking you for that understanding and forgiveness as I do my best, in between rounds of targeting, to feel it for others. I deserve it too.
   Some of my writings, especially the rougher parts of the ones about the targeting, are examples of what a Targeted Individual goes through in the process of trying to prove the targeting, while still being targeted - often while in state of fear and/or overwhelm, often while our brains are being blasted with disruptive radio waves (which is worse when we have been drugged or when we are being traumatized/terrorized), often while surrounded by threats and covert harassment, often while struggling to find proof on the web and its limited resources on this subject that sometimes even delivers intentional batches of misinformation. . .and while our writings are sometimes altered through infiltrated computers or through stolen or swapped printouts.

    My books, about the targeting, actually began in the late 1990s, when I was completely unaware of the technological parts of the targeting and of being covertly targeted. It started with my "Embracing Feelings" book, which was destroyed in a suspicious fire in my Andover, NH home. Around this time I had sensed and witnessed how pharmaceuticals, particularly psychiatric pharmaceuticals, were being pushed onto people, on a huge scale, and had the disabling effect of blocking people's hearts - preventing healing and personal growth. (This part alone is holocaustal, in my opinion) Realizing the scope of this inspired me to write my Embracing Feelings book, in order to express how important it is for us to be free to fully feel and release our feelings so that we can heal and grow. After the fire destroyed the final manuscript (in May of 2001) I struggled to resurrect it, while being too heavily targeted and too completely unaware of the sadistic, covert targeting. It has not been the same since the fire took it. It got chopped up and became my "Embracing Sadness" book, which I printed 50 or so copies of in 2002. Then I redid it again around 2008...etc.  But, since I've realized the technological part of the targeting, I find this book discouraging, because its suggestions to feel and heal can not be fully accomplished with any level of the technological mind control, with radio waves, continuing to be performed on most, if not all, of the population. (The radio waves can block our feeling and healing process as much as the pharmaceuticals do. A combination of the two is lethal to our process of personal growth.) My "Embracing Sadness" book may only be able to help free people. . .and it needs to return to what it was, but I am unable to do that now. I'm sorry.
   My very first attempt with a book about "feelings" was actually a book of poetry, that I wrote in the mid 1980s, as I dove into a deep healing process that encompassed embracing and releasing suppressed feelings. This book was called "A Lifetime of Feeling." Oddly, in the end, I had omitted from this book, my deepest and most feeling based poems. So, I decided to write another one that included them and more than just poems. But difficulties in my life, which I now realize were part of the covert targeting, prevented that from starting until the late 1990s with the above mentioned "Embracing Feelings" book. At the time, I thought I was just having a lot of bad luck.
   From 2004 to 2011 I struggled to produce and share my work - my writings, which included papers, books, songs, poetography prints, a line of cards...etc., while being covertly targeted, which did not start being aware of until the end of 2005 when I thought it was just some local occult that was against my writings. Over and over again I restarted my work with new phone numbers and new addresses and in new formats and even with new names, but the difficulties persisted and I ended up homeless, but still striving to do my work. The difficulties, which I now feel were instigated by those who covertly target me, included my bank accounts being invaded, repeatedly having to change my address and phone numbers, having to change name, interference with my phone, wiping out my email address and contacts, sudden medcially unexplainable rounds of debilitating physical sickness and pain that were falsely labeled as "lupus" in 2006, sadistic operatives (puppets) befriending me and inflicting discord, periods of being drugged and brainwashed, and other types of disruptive infiltrations into my computers, websites, homes, vehicles, relationships. My whole life, and my life's work, were being sabotaged. And telling people about it often did not help, because people seem to be brainwashed into thinking that we are mentally ill if we say that we are being targeted. . .and those who believed me and knew that something horrible was really happening, appear to have been as heavily targeted as I am and/or killed. This is all indescribably painful.
   My work/writings started including statements and stories about being covertly targeted in 2006, but I had almost no understanding of what was actually happening at that time. I thought it was just some local occult who was against my writings. In the end of 2011, as I started realizing and learning about the technological parts of the targeting, my work shifted into trying to expose/prove it so that it could be stopped and I could be free to live and work and live and feel and grow...etc. Since the end of 2011 I have been more heavily targeted and have struggled immensely to finish figuring it all out, so that I could prove it, and the hell could start coming to an end. But I was being too heavily targeted to do much more than grasp little bits of realizations and post them on my blogs and websites, in between rounds of heavier targeting. Through this process I began to realize that I was not the only one this was happening to - that my whole family had been being targeted and that this was happening to other families around the globe....etc. In 2011 this blog, and the books and websites that grew from it, began as a desperate fight for my life and grew into a pain filled struggle for all of us (ultimately all of humanity) to regain our freedom.
  When I realized the scope of the technological and pharmaceutical mind control I made exposing that my primary focus, although there are other holocaustal parts of the tareting, like those that involve false medical conditions, and harmful pharmaceuticals, being intentionally inflicted upon unaware and defenseless people. (This truly is a Technological and Pharmaceutical Holocaust.) My heavier focus on the mind control is because of my original feelings about the importance of us being able to freely think, feel, heal and grow. I feel, to the pain filled core of my heart and soul, that the technological and pharmaceutical mind control part of the sadistic targeting has been literally destroying the Heart of humanity. . .and that the ramifications of allowing them to continue are just too horrible. Its gone too far already and it just has to stop. Humanity needs its freedom back.
   With my writings, which expose the targeting, I have struggled through heavy rounds of various types of targeting. The worse parts of them reflect periods of my own confusion - misunderstandings, misperceptions, misplaced blame, unhealed pain, fear, angry ventings, desperation and mistakes. . .as well as the results of intrusive interference with my brain and alterations to my writings, which were performed by those who infiltrate my computers. Its been an indescribably grueling, and often discouraging, process. Its also physically painful, when I get tortured with laser weapons while I am writing, and this has happened a lot. (Its happening as I write this) But my writings are not bad, although I have sometimes felt like they are all a waste or ruined - in between the heaviest rounds of targeting, what is left of my heart and functionality, has shown through. When I am not feeling too discouraged, I realize that the rougher parts of my writings are merely an example of what an aware  Targeted Individual often goes through - carrying the immense burden of trying to prove and expose the targeting, while still being targeted/sabotaged. More than words can even begin to imagine I yearn for the freedom to recover and continue with my work.

More may be coming. Please check back.