Wednesday, May 16, 2018

I Can't Stand It!

I can't stand the fight I am forced to perform, in my writings, in order for those who target me to not succeed with what they are doing to me. This is not what I am supposed to be doing. I can't stand the fact that every aspect of my life has been being destroyed and that there seems to be no intention of it ever stopping. This is a horrible, inhumane, holocaustal situation that should be stopped for me and everyone else.

I Can't Stand the Fight

I have experienced yet another sudden change in attitude in them, in order to cover up what they do to me. I can't stand the cruelty and the gross lack of care followed by pretenses of care just to silence me. The woman who was used to rudely deprive me yesterday, was used to call me today - after their failed attempts to make me erase the posts about it. She gave me a false excuse and offered even more help - she offered me another used vehicle. Would it be safe? Is it just to shut me up? Is it just to finish taking away the vehicle I have, which has obviously been the plan since at least February, in order to hide something? (A puppet said its "canceled," as I started the first part of this post, which was directly after I got the phone message and ignored it. Again, only helped if I pretend to be happy and am not upset and if I hide what they do to me, which has happened WAY too much.) I was not accepting it anyway. I was already finished with the Share program in Milford, NH being used to help me just to deprive me at critical times...etc. I don't trust them, especially after this last slam and the aim to cover again. It has been hard to be forced to get help from them, especially since they have also been used in other obvious set ups. I hope they start following their hearts instead of the covert program that uses them. Perhaps most of the people there would be good, decent, genuinely caring people if they were not being controlled by the covert program, like most other places and organizations.

I can't stand them helping me with bits that are never enough, while depriving me of help from other places (like from my own work) just to force me to be dependent on them so they can deprive me at strategic times. I can't stand it. 

Help is not supposed to hurt!

I can't stand the fact that so many official cover-ups appear to be happening, in order to hide the past five + years. . .instead of honesty and explanations and resolutions, which it now seems too late for. I would have forgiven almost anything (and done almost anything to help regain freedom) for good decent officials, no matter how hurt or upset I have been while being held in this torture prison. I can't stand the fact that there has been no one here to help me and that there appears to be no safe place for me to turn to for help and protection from further harm, as they continue ripping me down...and that there still seems to be no officials who even plan to acknowledge the fact that the targeting is really happening, although they know and victims continue to be falsely labeled as mentally ill or abducted and enslaved...etc. I can't stand the fact that I am FAR too trapped and at the mercy of people who are hurting me and clearly do not really care about me and my safety, or that of my loved ones who have been being even more enslaved...etc. I can't stand the fact that no good/uncontrolled officials have stepped in to be here for us and bring an end to all this hell that has continued for too long. I can't stand even having to write this. But I want it to stop, because I can't stand any of it and they don't respect my repeatedly expressed wishes for it to stop. I can't stand the fact that they keep threatening to deprive me of professional help arriving HERE for me when they do not like what I write and when I do not cover up what is being done to me, like they did again as I write this post. I can't stand it.

I Can't Stand Any of it!

Monday, May 14, 2018

Can You Feel Them Crying for Help?

Can you feel the Spirit of completely enslaved
victims crying for help - crying to be set free?

   I know some victims who have been completely enslaved - turned into ravens who are used by some and blamed by others. And I have felt their souls crying for freedom from the prison they are held in with technological mind control technologies, which have also blocked their Hearts...etc. They are victims too. And their spirits are crying for freedom.

"You too" they have one of their enslaved librarian puppets say to me as I write this. But its not true, thank God. I am not completely enslaved, but I know that there are officials who want to pretend I am and pretend that I am one of the bad people, in order to have me silenced and/or locked away somewhere. Its a horrible covert war where ignorance and selfish manipulations are often a worse enemy than the satanic ones who target humanity. This post is for them. I hope they find the Heart and wisdom to realize that many of those whom officials covertly blame are victims who are being set up by their own comrades - by the ones who actually enslaved them and use them. I hope they are ALL set free and that criminal use of the technologies is completely stopped in whatever way it can be done fastest.

Give us STRENGTH, find our way through bullets hidden in microwaves, and COURAGE, make a STAND that saves our lives and FREEs our land.

A Disgrace to America

It appears that they put me through another test late yesterday, which I gladly failed while verbally blasting them. This morning they blocked me from getting help in an organization they control. (I guess only happy and obedient victims get helped.) Just before this deprivation of the usual and needed help, they had a puppet drive by, displaying a large America flag, dark sunglasses and a military shirt, and two horn beeps, which means "no" in the covert language.     But this was clearly not only about the deprivation of the usual financial help, it was also about telling me that American government officials will not be here for me due to the state of my writings and the pain and anger I expressed (in the supposed privacy of my car) after their provoking me and testing me. God help America, if this disgraceful covert crap really represents it. And it surely does represent some of it.

   Have some government officials been promising to be here for me, since June of 2013 - keeping me hanging and waiting for their help, while they finished taking over, chasing away or enslaving people (including some other officials and my loved ones) who wanted to be here for me or could have been here for me. . .and while demanding that I alter my writings, in order to make THEM look good, before they help me? And are they making me suffer more for not blindly obeying them and for doubting their intentions and for angrily expressing how their behaviors make them look bad to me and have been destroying my trust in them? It appears so. If American officials, who KNOW about all of this, are not the ones who are doing it then why do they silently let it happen? The answer seems obvious. Some of them surely are! This isn't nearly the first time I have experienced things like this. Its been ongoing, on severe and obvious levels for about five years. And, in some ways, its been the most devastating part of the targeting.

God, help us victims! 
And God help America to regain its freedom, integrity and Heart.

P.S. I am through waiting for "help" from officials who clearly never had any intentions of being here for us, and who continue to badger and threaten and test and try to control my writings and use me for bait against my will...etc., while holding me in this torturous prison. And, NO! - I do not want to lie for them, in order to make them look better than they really are. I sooooo wanted them to BE good and not just "look" good. And its heart wrenching that they keep proving to not deserve my trust and loyalty. Its actually devastating for me and other torture victims, as well as those who are enslaved. God help us all.

Saturday, May 12, 2018

Covert is Not Real

   To me, ANYTHING that is covert is not real or trustworthy - its ALL just cryptic whispers that grope for me from the darkness that surrounds me. I find it scary and creepy and WAY too confusing. I crave, from the aching depths of my heart and soul, a world that is good and kind and real, the way it should be for everyone. . .and me.


   I beg the Heart of good/uncontrolled officials, around the globe as well as in America, to stand up against all aspects of the targeting and not let yourselves and your comrades continue being used by it. Even just the upholding of the secrecy, at this point, is being used by it. PLEASE let your Hearts stand up to help us and yourselves and the rest of humanity to be set free. PLEASE!

Give us STRENGTH, find our way through bullets hidden in microwaves, and COURAGE, make a STAND that saves our lives and FREEs our land.

Unreachable Help Hurts Too Much!

   I was thinking of posting this scenario, about unreachable help a few days before another round of it started. Is it just to hurt me? It appears so.

Sometimes unreachable help is worse than having no help at all and unreachable loved ones is worse than having none at all. It all just hurts too much!

   I have been experiencing this since 2013, that I know of. The games of using our loved ones, or people who look like them, to be pranced around us, without being allowed to reach us or be here for us, while we continue to suffer in torturous isolation, has been a regular pattern in the targeting. Its also done with officials. And its excruciatingly painful for victims like me, who have been waiting too long for desperately needed help and care and protection...etc. And my heart also aches for those who are being used by the program that hurts us all. I did later realize that at least part of it is for the purpose of abductions, using people whom we could trust and not know are enslaved by the ones who also targeted them. But it all hurts, no matter what the motive. Its often feels like living in a horror movie and being a victim who is enslaved and all tied up and being shot with laser weapons…etc., and people whom I love, as well as officials who could help, are walking around me and not even trying to help me or set me free. It hurts. It feels like part of the torture.

The Manipulative Abduction Attempts

  It appears that there is still an aim to abduct me under the guise of "help." I hope they do not succeed and that all the victims who are enslaved or deceived and used in the foreground of these horrible abductions regain their freedom and safety from that darkness, in my situation as well as all others. 
   Someone I know had a dream, shortly after my little brother Kevin LaBree's death in 2002, that two other members of the family will vanish, including me. The time period of this event appears to be now. Like most precognitive dreams, this was clearly a forewarning that came, in order to prevent the event.
   They use our enslaved or deceived loved ones and aquaintances in the foreground of attempts to abduct the primary victims, like me. These "rescues"/abductions, which are orchestrated under the guise of saving or helping victims to escape the targeting, ARE NOT GOOD and are not helpful to anyone except the criminals who orchestrate them and want to enslave and silence those of us who are a threat to their covert operations! And the staged deaths of some abduction victims is just too horrible! Those who target humanity have succeeded with horrible holocaustal levels of targeting and enslavement, because not enough people are aware and not enough help is here for us and this has to change.
   I beg good/uncontrolled officials, around the globe as well as in America, to stand up against all aspects of the targeting and not let yourselves and your comrades continue being used by it. Even just the upholding of the secrecy, at this point, is being used by it. PLEASE let your Hearts stand up to help us and yourselves and the rest of humanity to be set free. PLEASE!

Give us STRENGTH, find our way through bullets hidden in microwaves, and COURAGE, make a STAND that saves our lives and FREEs our land.

Thursday, May 10, 2018

The REAL "Right Side"

A Message From the REAL God

   I've heard that the covert world (secret society) drills their participants about how they are on the "right side"...etc., in the covert war. I feel certain that this is not true and that a satanic occult created and controls the whole covert scene, in some parts of it, from so far behind the scenes that it is not sensed by the masses of good people who are used in it. I have good reason to feel that the ONLY "right side" in this situation is the side of openly standing up. This is not just because it is what I've wanted or what I prefer or what I have been asking for. I have questioned and doubted myself and whether or not my motives were selfish and then God (the REAL God) showed me the Truth - a Truth that I must share with all of you for the safety of America and the rest of humanity during this critical time. Please believe me when I say that the REAL "Right Side" is where people (especially officials and media) let their Hearts openly/publicly and peacefully stand up for Freedom from all that harms and controls humanity, especially for Freedom from the technological and pharmaceutical targeting, which has been being used to torture, control and block the Heart of humanity. I beg all officials and everyone who is in the covert scene, all around the world; please be those Hearts - please land on the REAL "Right Side" of the road. Please stop being covert and stand in the Light. This would be safer for you too, in the long run. I'm sure of it. Its what is best for ALL of humanity, especially the children - humanity's future. 

The REAL "Right Side" is where Hearts openly/publicly, and peacefully, stand up for Freedom from all that harms and controls humanity, especially for Freedom from the technological and pharmaceutical targeting, which has been being used to torture, control and block the Heart of humanity.

Its safer to stand in the Light.
Standing in the Light is the only REAL "right side".

Give us STRENGTH, find our way through bullets hidden in microwaves, and COURAGE, make a STAND that saves our lives and FREEs our land.

Wednesday, May 9, 2018

I have a Job. I Have Just Needed the Freedom to Do It!

 Some Jobs Are More Important Than Money

   Harassment against my choice of work started back in the late 1990s. At that time it was subtle and came in the form of puppets repeatedly asking me and my key loved ones if I have "gotten a REAL job yet," implying that I was supposed to be doing something other than what I'd chosen and what I should be doing with my life. Then the harassment turned into various types of covert sabotage and then obvious sabotage (including theft) and now threatening tortures and infiltrations and alterations of my writings, and degradings that try to make me feel bad about my losses...etc., in the past several years.
   No, I have not been "making enough money" from my job, which is the question they often ask in the past few years. I have put FAR more money into it than I have gotten out of it. But this does not mean that I should stop doing it and do something else. It means that those who prevent its success, should be stopped from doing so and. . .to be fair. . .should even pay me back for what they have stolen and prevented my work from earning. THEY are the ones who should be making a change, not me. This is MY life and MY work and MY right to choose and really nobody else's business, literally! (I honestly don't expect them to pay me back, because I can not prove most of what they have done to me, but its a fair request.) They even appear to be trying to wipe out my older writings and appear to be threatening me into hiding the fact that my work ever existed and start something new in order for them to allow me to be financially successful. The amount of control they seem to have in our world is horrible and just should not be true.
   I have repeatedly aimed to restart my work after each sabotage, even after being shoved into destitution, and I still stand behind it, because it was not about making money - it was about things that are far more important than that. However, I fully believe that my job/work would have been VERY monetarily successful if it and I had not been being sabotaged, from the start
   This is America. We are supposed to be free to follow our hearts and make our dreams come true with our work. Its horribly sad that some of us have not had that freedom. It should be restored as quickly as possible. The problem can not be fixed with victims of covert targeting continuing to be forced to stop their choice of work and shoved into jobs at places like McDonalds and Walmart and Truck Driving Companies. . .where severe levels of the targeting freely continue and pay is often not enough to even get back onto our own feet. I have tried MANY other jobs, in order to get back on my feet with my own work, but they have been sabotaged too, maybe because I planned to use them to fund MY REAL JOB.

   My writings are only parts of what my work was intended to be, but they are the part that I have been able to continue offering to the public as those who target me shoved me into destitution and hold me in their torturous prison. I have not had the freedom to do a very good job with my work, and it appears to have been being blocked on the web, but its still my job and I am hoping for the help and support I need, in order to regain the freedom to keep it and I safe from further harm...etc., so I can heal from what has been done to me and make my work better and have a fair chance for success with it.

Important parts of my job;

Poetic Publications

The Heart Bud

My Personal Site

They Use People!

   The leaders of this dark operation seem to have a pattern of roping in people from my past who may want to seek revenge on me, and using them to help target/hurt me. . .and also of roping in (or completely enslaving) my unaware loved ones and acquaintances to be used in other ways, including the false covert rescues, which lead to complete enslavement...etc. Its a hell of a scam, that should not be allowed to continue using them and hurting me. I am not nearly the only victim that things like this have been happening to. So, please help expose and stop the satanic covert program - please help set humanity free.

I hope everyone they use is set free from that satanic control and deception and has the opportunity to heal and return to and follow only their own Hearts...etc., including those who should take responsibility for their own behaviors, instead of seeking revenge.

Tuesday, May 8, 2018

My Heaving Lungs and Threats to Silence Me

  I am still struggling with the lung condition, although it has gone through periods of getting better. This started after years of threats to attack my lungs and immediately after I ate something at a fast food restaurant in January of this year. Shortly after this they said, "I did it" through a puppet. But I am not sure how much of what I am experiencing is technologically induced and how much of it, if any, is from them infecting me with something.
   The threats, in previous years had included inflictions which were obviously created with microwave weapons that can effect mucus membranes or can cause sudden choking or coughing or gagging through lasering of the throat. Though some of my current "illness" feels the same as these types of  technological attacks, it also feels different. I think it may be both - that they may have infected me with something that continues to hurt me and that they have also still periodically lasered me and hit me with microwaves that make it flare, at strategic times, like when they want me to "shut up".
   Last year, they had a puppet ask me a question about the targeting and then I experienced a sever lasering of my throat, which prevented me from answering. Due to things like this, as well as the timing of other attacks, it seems to be about silencing me - telling me to "shut up" which has also sometimes been said through puppets at these times.
   Just before the bad attack happened in January I had been singing my "Freedom's Peace" song and experiencing painful laser shots to my body as I did so. They also obviously want my writings silenced. Parts of my writings should be fixed and will be when my heart has the freedom to comb through them on an uninfiltrated computer (which I just lost an opportunity to obtain) and when I am more clear about the questionable things that have been happening to me. I'll be clad to reach a point where I my heart has the Freedom and safety to set records straight - fix the infiltrated parts of my writings and my own mistakes, so they can do a better job with helping us victims and helping America and the rest of humanity to regain vital Freedoms...etc. (Part of this is actually connected to my job.) But it is impossible for me to fix it all and do a better job with it while I am still being targeted and while I am not clear on a few things...etc. I do not want to join the lethal silence on critical issues, or do anything else, that might support the bad and let the hell continue, and I do not want to give them the chance to alter anymore of my writings through the infiltrated computers I have been forced to use since they sabotaged my other ones.

 Give us STRENGTH, find our way through bullets hidden in microwaves, and COURAGE, make a STAND that saves our lives and FREEs our land.

The Sadistic Pedophile Situation

   I have wondered why those who target me have aimed to frame me as a pedophile and have assumed it was only about slandering me and also to try to terrorize me into thinking they have already framed me - ruined my life, in order to force me to chose to leave my life and leap, "forever", into their enslavement "home". And these things are clearly true. However, it may also be a vengeance thing or perhaps started out being so.
   I wonder if a pedophile (or two) has been being used to help target/torture me. . . and/or if he had vindictively plugged my name onto a list of pedophiles to be targeted by one of the rouge covert organizations that seem to think they have the right to covertly judge, sentence and torture people whom they THINK are criminals or are bad for society.
   In the late 1970s, I knew two men who had sexually assaulted children. One of them lost his wife and children due to my, and someone else's, aim to save them from him. I'm sure he was not very happy with me. I recently realized that the other man probably lived in fear, for many years, of charges being pressed against him. Both remained free due to difficult circumstances. One had escaped charges through taking off and joining the military. Its a long story. (Oddly, I had completely forgotten about them for a LONG time.) 
   Last week I remembered these incidents and started thinking about it. And, within days of my doing so there was a sudden vamp up with what appeared to be another attempt to frame me as a pedophile, which involved them having their puppets leaving their children in a hallway of a building that I was parked outside of, just before I experienced a sudden desperate urge to run in to use the bathroom. I'm sure the urge to have a BM was technologically induced, in order to force me into the building at a strategic time, because this sort of thing has happened a lot and I did not really have to go.
   These types of situations have had me living in fear for a few years. It is really scary, because they seem to have the freedom to do whatever they want and too many people are not aware of their tactics and I am too alone with all of this. All they really have to do is place children around me, when there are no honest witnesses around me, and then start their manipulations...etc. And all they really have to do to slander me is have one of their puppets accuse me and let the media say I was "suspected" of the crime...etc. Just the mere accusation could also land me in an extremely dangerous environment! Needless to say, I do not want either of these things to happen. I want them to stop this and leave me alone.
   The targeting is all so covert and so manipulative that its hard to know who is doing what and why, but some of the patterns have become quite clear and there has been obvious attempts to frame me as a pedophile, in the past few years, which included the incidents I'd written about, around 2012 or 2013, when they actually had a woman and her children following me from one place to another. . .and another woman who had appeared to have told her son to come sit on my lap and play with my computer in restaurant. Thanks to the prophetic dream I had about them having me put in prison under the fabricated accusation of my being a pedophile, I was able to avoid these set ups. But they are still trying and it seems impossible to intuit and completely avoid ALL their set ups! At one point, a few years ago they told me that I was already framed and had to leave my life forever...etc., and then swarmed me with the covert "rescue" stuff! I'm not leaving. I haven't done anything wrong! But THEY have and they are the ones who should leave MY life forever.

   This situation is really difficult for me. Aside from being effective with terrorizing me, it has isolated me from children. I love children and used to openly talk to them when the opportunity arose. But I now avoid them and have even been rude to some children in order to avoid them. Its sad, because I am not a pedophile - I am the opposite of a pedophile and I do not deserve to live in this fear. Some children could even benefit from associating with me. I'd be good for them if I were free to love them. (This includes my own children and grand children.)
   I have wondered...if the targeting were not forcing me to stay away from my own children, and was not also depriving me of relationships with my grandchildren, if I would be able to freely enjoy my grandchildren without worrying about them possibly being brainwashed or of V2K being used on them to make them think I said something bad...etc., The only way I would not worry about it is if ALL of us were fully aware of ALL aspects of the targeting, so that it could not succeed with hurting us...and the same goes for all other victims of these sorts of things, most of which I feel are not aware at I wasn't in 2004, when  they tried to brainwash me into thinking that my father was a pedophile, with a technologically projected dream. Like I have been saying, it is critically important for the targeting, especially the mysterious technological parts of it, to be fully exposed to the whole population. I am sure that I am not the only one who has been being hurt by it, and the horrible secrecy that enables its success with many different types of things. I feel certain that some victims experience worse than I have, due to a complete lack of awareness in them as well as the people associated with their situations.

   How many innocent people have been framed and destroyed in prisons that hate pedophiles? And how many REAL pedophiles are free to use the surveillance and laser weapons that can also be used to sexually assault people? Things should be the opposite of what they have been in these situations, except for the destruction. Even REAL pedophiles should not be tortured and tormented and destroyed. They should be kept away from children and encouraged to face and heal their obvious issues...etc. It appears that, in many cases, they too were once innocent children who were abused and that they have the type of personality that tends to take it out on others, instead of facing it and healing from it...etc.

Saturday, April 28, 2018

Painful Lasering of my Brain...etc.

   Late yesterday I experienced another round of what felt like lasering of the top/left/front part of my brain. My head even hurt to touch it. I hope my brain is not damaged any more than it may have already been. I have also been experiencing more rounds of painful laser shots to other parts of my body, including sexual assaults. Among other things, a few weeks ago they had a puppet yell out, "Arthritis," just before starting another round of the painful lasering of some of my joints. This sort of thing has happened a lot and often with heart attack types of symptoms. I never have REAL heart attacks, but feel the pain and the threat and the gross lack of safety. With this and other types of lasering, there are obvious physical mutilations of my body taking place, which are not natural, including my skin being effected since they said they were going make me age for not leaping into their enslavement "home" where they had been promising to keep me young looking. Apparently they can do both with technologies.
     It feels horrible to be so completely at the mercy of those who can hurt or violate me any time they want to and there being no way for me to protect myself. Words can not even begin to describe how horrible this often feels. And then there are the other parts of the targeting too! Its all just too horrible and it has gone on for too long and it should be stopping, not just for me, but for all who are being tortured. . .and ultimately for all of humanity to be set free from all levels of the targeting. Why isn't it? Why? Please help break the silence that surrounds these crimes.

Give us STRENGTH, find our way through bullets hidden in microwaves, and COURAGE, make a STAND that saves our lives and FREEs our land.

Dangers at the End of the Road

Things are really difficult for me. I am experiencing another round of threats to disable my vehicle. It appears that, one way or the other, they may accomplish this very soon. The night before last they had a tow truck drop a car off in a parking lot in front of me. Then last night they had a tow truck break down and not be able to start in a parking lot in front of me. I know this was not a coincidence, because it mimics the types of things they do to terrorize me through threatening to disable my vehicle. This had been done a lot in the past several years and was followed through with on a massive scale, around 2013 and 2014. Now they know that even just the threat of it inflicts me with distress. Sometimes they had even disabled or broke my car and had it towed under the guise of it being "help", sometimes even using good and unaware people in the foreground of these episodes that always hurt and scared me and  never helped me get away from the targeting. It just added to it. . .becoming another difficult part it.
   Right now they appear to have multiple things set up for me to lose my vehicle/home, and the types of freedom and safety it provides me with. They could just not let it start, like they did for a few minutes this morning or they could legally force me to take it off the road, which there have been set ups to do...etc. My days in it seem extremely limited for sure, at this point.
   This is really scary because there are no safe options for me. It appears that they want to either dump me on the streets where I'd be far too vulnerable to those who target me, or shoved deeper into the welfare system that provides housing for the poor...etc, which I do not feel safe with or good about. I've hoped for the hell to be ending and not getting worse - I'd hoped for things to be heading in the opposite direction from what is happening - I'd hoped that help would eventually be HERE for me and that I'd be able to recover some of my losses and at least buy a peace of land that is in a peaceful, private, safe location, where I could at least build a camping shelter...etc. But this is looking more and more unlikely as years creep by.
   I have no loved ones left, that I know of, who can not be controlled or who wouldn't quickly be if I went to live with them, particularly if they remain unaware of the targeting. Some of them appear to have been completely enslaved and are not themselves. There seems to be nothing I can do to make things better, at this point. I don't know what is going to happen to me and its really scary to be too completely at the mercy of whatever and waiting to see what they do to me or force me into.
   I wish the Heart of good/uncontrolled officials, who are already aware of the whole targeting situation, could be here for me and protect me from further harm, but it appears that the chances of this have been steadily vanishing in the past few years. My heart keeps reassuring me that they do exist and just have not been able to yet, but its been so long and things are not looking good for me. . .and someone keeps telling me that my life is going to remain this way "forever". Its can't. It just can't. Its hurting me and has been preventing me from doing my work...etc.

Please pray for me. . .and all of humanity. . .that we quickly gain
all levels of safety and freedom from all that harms and controls...etc.

P.S. For about two years now, I have been trapped in a vehicle to the degree of not even being able to take normal walks without obvious threats and aims to abduct me, and without being concerned about them raiding my vehicle or shooting those little dart types of things, or ticks into my body, which has happened to me. This has all been extremely difficult. I have been desperately groping for answers - to figure out what I can do to keep surviving. A week or so ago I planned to go up the coast of Maine to a place where I may have been able to take long walks in more peace (without being swarmed by vehicles anyway) and be able to leave my car under a security camera, but had realized, a few days ago, that this would most likely not be safe, due to the threat of them possibly creating a tidal wave if I go too far up the coast of Maine. I think I already avoided this tidal wave situation, which I'd had a precognitive dream about, but am not completely sure that they would not try again, in certain areas. There seems nothing I can do to try to regain my physical strength and inner balance, at this point. I am too trapped. Although this is horrible, things could get even worse, in some ways, if I did not have the freedoms that a vehicle provides me with - if I was forced to stay in a stationary place, it could be worse in some ways although better in other ways. There seems no good answer to my dilemma, without the proper kinds of help and protection that obviously are still not available for me.

P.S. 5/8/2018; There is also another place I was going to go to in Maine, but it now appears that the recent threats to disable my vehicle applied to if I left New Hampshire.
Give us STRENGTH, find our way through bullets hidden in microwaves, and COURAGE, make a STAND that saves our lives and FREEs our land.

Attempt to Block My Phone

  Before the 20th of this month there was a charge to my phone that would have prevented it from renewing and continuing to function if I had not caught it on time. Then, after I caught it and fixed it, a charge was drummed up to still prevent it from renewing. Was this to prevent someone from reaching me or was it yet another attempt to make me lose my phone number or possibly part of another aim to force me to get another phone - a "smartphone"? I don't want another phone, especially not the ones that the satanic covert program uses, and I should be able to keep my phone number, which is in many of my publications.
   I have been forced, many times in the past, to lose or change my phone numbers and I have been fighting to not let them do this anymore. But every now and then they sneak in something like this month and I do not know for sure what the reasons behind it are. Maybe just to harass me and make things difficult, which works. I want it to stop.

Thursday, April 19, 2018



Another stormy day in a winter
That's too reluctant to leave.
We impatiently await the Spring
They tucked up it's sleeve. 

I wrote this about a week ago.

Thursday, April 12, 2018

To Silence my Song?

   I have been hit hard with attacks on my throat and lungs and sinuses since the beginning of January. The reasons could be many but it also started shortly after I started playing and singing one of my new songs more often more fluently. They started with painful laser shots to my body as I sang. And then I started getting sick in ways that prevented my singing. I am not doing very well on any level. And I feel scared of the ways this seems to be headed. But I am still praying for a miracle and protection from further harm of all kinds.

My Freedom's Peace song is the one they had an issue with; I hope I can sing it again, someday.

Is There Something in Certain Vitamins Which Aids Technological Mind Control?

  I know a targeted woman who had odd symptoms around her monthly cycles and was advised, by a doctor, to take a certain type of vitamins. Her symptoms went away when she took the vitamins but she changed in ways that now seem to me like she became more controlled. So, I can not help but wonder of her symptoms were technologically generated and if the prescribed vitamins had something in them to aid technological mind control.

Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Birth Certificate Changed In City Hall?

   While I recently tried to find my money I noticed a misspelling of my name on my birth certificate. (An N was typed in as an M in one of my name changes)
   Today I went to the City Hall where I was born and the clerk there told me that my last two name changes were not even on my birth certificate in her computer system. She then looked for the physical file and could NOT find it. "It must have been misfiled" she said. She was a bit sarcastic, trying to tell me that "name changes do not just appear on a birth certificate" without me reporting them and bringing in the proper paperwork...etc. But I had brought in the proper paperwork and HAD gotten a copy of my birth certificate WITH the name changes on it in 2007 and then again in 2011. Between 2007 and 2011 my married name (Sharon Buck) had been wiped off of my birth certificate. And between 2011 and now BOTH of my legal name changes had been wiped off of my birth certificate in their system. Why?
   She called Concord who came up with the same thing at first. Then I showed her the copy of my birth certificate, which they gave me in 2011, and then, after she told Concord (two times) that I had produced a copy WITH the name changes on it, they were able to find a physical file that affirmed the name changes. Before I left she said its all fixed in the system, including returning the M to an N. But I am still finding this all really disturbing. How can important, legal birth certificate information get wiped out and files get lost? What would have happened if I had not produced the last copy that THEY had given me through their system? Is it because I am being targeted? What were the intentions behind it? Is it part of the abduction process and its aims to wipe out our existence or was it all really just an honest mistake or is someone fabricating these things and using puppets in official places just to harass me?
   Even if that was really fixed, and stays fixed, there is still the problem of my Buck name being wiped out. She told me it was never on my birth certificate, but it really was and how would she even know it wasn't since NONE of my names were even in her system? While I talked to her a security guard came to talk to people next to me, and loudly said, "Its crazy" just like they did at the DOT during the problems with my replacing my VALID license. I looked at him and said, "Me too," but I was not in the mood to laugh at my own joke like I usually do.

Lost Bank Account

    I recently checked on my lost bank account and found that Fleet Bank did not keep records and underwent a merger in 2005, which complicates things even further. They said that the money should have gone to the state I live in after it being assumed that it was abandoned. But it does not appear to be in any of the states I lived in either. One clerk told me that it could be under a different name if there was a spelling error, which is like looking for a needle in a haystack. But it was not listed under my social security number either, and how could both have been misspelled in their system?
   This is really discouraging, because, since I remembered my back-up bank account, I had hoped to get at least this bit of my money back and perhaps be able to buy a piece of land and build a camping shelter. Even just a humble place of my own, in a peaceful setting, could have felt like heaven to me right now. Do I have to let go of that hope too? It appears so.

P.S. During this process I did find a typing mistake in a name on my birth certificate, but found nothing under that spelling either.

Thursday, April 5, 2018

Free Download of my Yearn for Freedom book

 Since things aren't going well for me I feel I should also offer this book for free. But please do not freely download it unless you honestly can not afford to buy it.

Give us STRENGTH, find our way through bullets hidden in microwaves, and COURAGE, make a STAND that saves our lives and FREEs our land.

I'm Sorry. I Can't.

   For many years now, I have gotten different types of threats due to things in my writings, which exposes key parts of the targeting. I can not erase from my writings anything that can prove the targeting, which has not yet been proven. And I can not even consider erasing anything connected to the pharmaceutical and technological mind control and the enslavement of human beings - the destruction of the Heart and Soul of humanity, which my life's work had aimed to remedy. Asking me to do this is like asking me to defy the real God and join the evil forces. I can not do it of my own free will and I hope it does not happen any other way.

I believe that those who try to force me into the lethal silence are those who perform the targeting. I hope that officials can be here before too many more of us are silenced in any of the ways that it has been being done.

Give us STRENGTH, find our way through bullets hidden in microwaves, and COURAGE, make a STAND that saves our lives and FREEs our land.

Dream of My Death Due to Something About Water

   Over a decade ago I had a dream that I die due to something connected with water or my saying something about water. And I now think that it is probably about my exposing the 2008 news reports about drugs being found in public drinking water supplies and the dream I had, around the year 2000, about dark people putting something harmful in a public water supply. . .and my sharing my feelings that this is all connected to the technological mind control, which is aided by certain chemicals and/or pharmaceuticals.
   But this is just one of the many courses this could take and it does not have to be this way. The deaths in my old dreams, I am learning, may not always be about physical death and may be about the damage that is being done to the minds of people who are completely enslaved. I hope that my brain and heart and instincts and intuition are not damaged anymore than they already have been, because I want to recover from what they have done to me. I also hope that they do not physically kill me. I do not want to die before my time or at the hands of the criminals who are targeting me. I feel that my personal situation could and should be going a different way, but that depends upon others people's choices. So what do I do? I can not erase from my writings anything that can prove the targeting, which has not yet been proven, especially anything connected to the pharmaceutical and technological mind control and the enslavement of human beings - the destruction of the Heart and Soul of humanity, which my life's work had aimed to remedy. Asking me to do this is like asking me to defy the real God and join the evil forces. I can not do it of my own free will and I hope it does not happen any other way.
    I believe in standing up for what we feel is right, especially when it exposes, and aims to stop, things that are damaging and/or destroying the most important parts of people, especially little defenseless children - the future of humanity. How can any of us live with ourselves if we chose to fall silent about these things, which is akin to joining the criminals who torture and harm us.
  I believe in the following phrase, although (to me) has nothing to with being Christian or not and everything to do with caring about ourselves and others. MLK wrote it about segregation, but it fits the psychological and spiritual destructions that have been being inflicted upon humanity with ALL levels of the technological and pharmaceutical mind control.

“If physical death is the price that some must pay to free their children from a permanent life of psychological death, then nothing could be more Christian.” ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

However, I feel that, in this movement for Freedom from technological mind control...etc., the pioneers, like Jim Keith and Jerry E. Smith, already stood and were taken down and that its now time for the survival of the brave Hearts who dare to openly stand up against it. We may not ALL survive. People, like me, who are too isolated and have no protection or support of loved ones are too vulnerable. But others, especially officials and main stream media, could safely stand up. I had a dream about people deciding to stand up and that they did not get hurt for doing so. I believe in that dream. The time for this to happen for me is probably passed, but its not passed for others or the rest of humanity. Please let your Hearts stand for humanity's Freedom and all who are suffering.

Give us STRENGTH, find our way through bullets hidden in microwaves, and COURAGE, make a STAND that saves our lives and FREEs our land.

Wednesday, April 4, 2018

MLK Quotes

  Today, on the anniversary of Martin Luther King's murder, I searched for important things he said and found many that can be applied to the crisis that too many are being hurt by. I do not believe in all that MLK said, but believe in the following quotes and the need for more people to let their Hearts break the lethal silence and unite in Peaceful stands for the regaining of our Freedom. 

“Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will.”

“A man has not begun to live until he can rise above the narrow confines of his own individual concerns to the broader concerns of all of humanity.”

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

“In the end we will remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends.” 

“The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression and cruelty by the bad people, but the silence over that by the good.”

“Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for Freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hate.“

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only Love can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only Love can do that.”

“Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend.”

“I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional Love will have the final word.”

“Man must evolve, for all of human conflict, a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is Love.”

“The time is always right to do what is right.”

“A right delayed is a right denied.”

“The true measure of a man is not how he behaves in moments of comfort and convenience, but how he stands at times of controversy and challenge.”

“Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed.”

“We must learn that to expect God to do everything while we do nothing is not faith.” 

Give us STRENGTH, find our way through bullets hidden in microwaves, and COURAGE, make a STAND that saves our lives and FREEs our land.

Tuesday, April 3, 2018

Still Sick

   I'm sure I look like I just have a cold or flu, but I have been being hit hard with microwaves and periodic painful tortures of my brain since last Wednesday morning.

Give us STRENGTH, find our way through bullets hidden in microwaves, and COURAGE, make a STAND that saves our lives and FREEs our land.