Saturday, September 22, 2018

A New Prayer

This was inspired (or a re-writing of) by the popular "Our Father...." Catholic prayer.

Dear God of Love and Light,
Honored be Thy Love;
They Light come - Thy will be done
n Earth as it is in Heaven;
Give us, forever, our daily needs;
Forgive our sins and help us forgive
those who trespassed against us;
Deliver us from dark temptations,
greed, vengeance, wars and
thirsts for power over others;
Lead us into compassionate Peace;
Protect us with Your Love and
Light forever.... Amen.

Wednesday, September 19, 2018

Ramblings of a Targeted Individual book

    My most recent book of this blog does not include some important information. A large amount of this blog and its book were recently erased by those who infiltrate my computers. And I erased a lot of it, particularly posts that mentioned government officials, with the hope that things would get better for me, and with the hope that I was wrong to doubt and suspect in some cases. But then things started getting bad for me, due to the changes I made. I had a dream, during this process, that officials were picking up me and my car to throw us off a cliff and destroy us. This was directly after I had erased mention of them in this blog and after someone had damaged my car through backing into it...pushing me to go somewhere that is probably not safe.

   I have had many experiences with officials that I have hoped were not as bad as they seemed and have been waiting for good, direct, clear explanations. But I guess that can only happen if things are better than they have often seemed.

   I want so much to let go of most of this blog, and its exhausting fight for my life, because it has all been too infiltrated and altered and I have not been free to write with only my heart and a clear mind most of the time. But it appears to be too dangerous for me to do that. One of the dangers that I recently realized is that there appear to be officials who have been trying to force me to get millions of dollars that is owed to me due to stolen things as well as my $40,000 lost bank account that is being held by the government and blocked from me accessing while I am held in destitution and surrounded by repeated attempts to torture or force me into official facilities that appear to involved. A heavy push for this again started directly after I recently erased everything that mentioned any part of the government from this blog.

If it is not all levels of officials who are doing this to me, then why are none here for me stopping it from continuing? Why? Many know, from local on up through FBI and senators and a past president...etc. I would gladly erase any false perception that would unjustly make any part of the government look bad, if they proved to be good and not part of the targeting and not controlled by the infiltration. I know the government is victimized by the mind control stuff too, but i count too and I have been counting on them and it looks like they have been hurting me and enslaving my loved ones instead of being here for me and its all just too painful and scary. I've had dreams warning of officials luring me to their facilities (including churches) and trying to steal my belongings or trying to inject me with something or trying to kill me and other victims in my situation...etc.

I'm having a really hard time. This is all excruciating. I want to trust, but I want to trust officials who deserve it and who are not trying to hurt me or enslave me or use me or steal from me. And clearly some have been hurting me and some have been aiming to do these other things too. Its all too terrifying and I just need it all to end. I'd done this last batch of changing and erasing things with the hope that at least the vengeance thing would stop. And they backed off while I did it, but vamped it back up with forceful aim to get me to go to a facility and to go with puppets they placed in the last parking lot they now are holding me prisoner in since the sixth of last month.

P.S. Yesterday, August 18, 2018, it appeared that my steering wheel position was moved while I was away from my car. Is it really fully disabled? Did they use it while I was away from it all day? The last time they held me prisoner in a parking lot for this long was in 2016 and was for four months and they had wiped it all out of my book of this blog. They blocked me from publishing the past years posts as well. Are they good or bad? I sooooooo want them to be good. I even try to convince myself that they are, because everything looks too hopeless if they aren't. But they appear not to be!

Sunday, September 16, 2018

Freedom's Beacon

Please read Freedom's Beacon blog

The Bending

If I could reach You what would I say?
Oh I wish that things weren't this way.
But I hope it will all somehow be OK
I wish we could mend the sorted past
And open our Hearts in ways that last
With protection and solid resolution
In peace instead of their revolution.
I wish for a good and healing ending
For all who are sore from the bending.

The position of this post was moved!   

A Gradual Return

   I have put most of the posts, that were on this blog, into drafts. But I will be slowly repost selected ones.

   Most of my writings have been being interfered with by those who target me. Sometimes even altered or important parts of phrases erased to alter the meaning...etc. Hopefully someday my heart will be free to fix them all and start over with all of my work.

Wednesday, August 29, 2018

Still Stranded!

    I am still being stranded in a parking lot!

   I have let go of most of the posts I wrote in the past few days. I still feel the same way that I had when I wrote them and what has been being done to me is still what has been being done. I am in too much of a vulnerable position, (Its like having a bunch of axes held over my head) and it all feels too dangerous to say much about. I am so distressed that I probably should not be writing much of anything anyway and it seems to have made the threats and covert harassment and technological targeting vamp up at a time when I am already dealing with too much. I am extremely distressed about my car and phone suddenly breaking down and all else that has been being done to me as I remain stranded since around the sixth of this month and I hope it stops soon.
   The heat on top of the technological targeting is difficult...etc. I am praying they do not succeed with making me pass out or anything else that could enable them to have me shoved into an ambulance and carted off to one of the most infiltrated and dangerous places. There have been threats to make me "black out"...etc.

Please pray for me...and for all of humanity to finally
be set free of ALL LEVELS of the targeting and 
receive the validation and understanding and
Love and support that is needed for recovery.

Tuesday, August 28, 2018

Message From My heart

   Through horrible levels of covert messaging stuff, seeming to come from various sources, my head has been spinning and my soul has been aching for a normal NON-covert world. I have done my best to ignore it, but some of it is impossible to ignore. Sometimes my desperation wants to believe that there is something good behind some of it. And its at these times when my heart loudly whispers, "If its not openly standing in the Light do not trust it." And I am listening to that advise, because not doing so means remaining trapped in the confusion of trying to decipher what the cryptic messages  mean and the uncertainty of who is behind them and what their intentions are...etc., which is too much to deal with on top of all else I must endure. Its just really too much.
  My heart still strongly feels that, There is a desperate need for good officials to be openly standing up for us and America and Humanity in ways that deliver compassion and validation for the victims and understanding for everyone else... so that people (from all walks of life) can start pulling together to help each other and support each other and love each other...etc.
   Every day there have been more hearts and spirits and souls being either broken or destroyed, by the covert and technological targeting...etc., in a world that mostly does not understand and can not even care for the victims! This has been happening for too long and it should be going the other way.  It should be being stopped.

For God's sake PLEASE! Help this turn the other way!

Give us STRENGTH, find our way through bullets
hidden in microwaves, and COURAGE, make a
STAND that saves our lives and FREEs our land.

Monday, August 27, 2018

I Wish I Could Talk Directly to Good Officials

   I wish I could talk (face to face) with genuine good officials, who want total freedom from all aspects of the targeting for us and America and all of humanity, and are aware of my situation through the past few years...etc., and that they would be completely honest with me so that I can gain the understanding and reassurance that has been desperately needed for too many, long, excruciating and confusing years now.

   I wish I were not being held stranded in a parking lot, help being withheld until I agree to various things that are delivered through completely untrustworthy covert messaging...etc. I am in a horrible distressing situation even with just my car being disabled and this shouldn't be used as an axe over my head, but it is! Who is doing this to me? And where's the good?

Book Altered in Library Computer and/or USB Storage Device

   I recently tried to do an update on my Ramblings of a Targeted Individual book and had uploaded  the back up one onto my publishing site. . . and then aimed to make a few changes today and found that the contents were altered, a lot of the recent blog posts erased and I do not know what else. This is so horribly frustrating. And now the book is being blocked from being published. This is discouraging, because I had hoped to update and make a few positive changes to the primary book on Amazon, but do not dare to now. But there are sure to have been some alterations to that one as well. When I had recently done updates for the back up book, I found that someone had erased a post about my having difficulty with and not trusting covert messaging stuff.
   I do not know what other alterations have been done to my writings. This has all been so horribly violating - the infiltration of my writings on top of what has been being done to me, which prevents me from doing what I want with them as well...etc. And then there is always the threat of not getting help if my writings are not approved of...etc. This has become one of the most horrible parts of the targeting and has been happening severely since around the end of 2014.

I feel totally trapped. It feels like both my writings and I are being held hostage after disabling my car and holding me trapped in a parking lot and wiping out info I had stored on my phone... and I do not know the intentions of those who are doing this to me, but none of this can even begin to feel good to me. Is anyone on my side? Does anyone truly care about me and others who are being tortured and hurt...etc. Is anyone in my situation on the side of regaining complete freedom from all aspects of the targeting, especially that which is doing the worst of it - space based technologies and pharmaceuticals...etc?

Saturday, August 25, 2018

Criminal Use of Space Based Technologies Must Be Realized and Stopped

   Criminal use of space based technologies, which can emit and direct radio waves, as well as watch   the victims is the most dangerous thing that humanity has ever been faced with, especially since they can be used to inflict illnesses and mind control...etc. NOTHING good can come from pretending that space based technologies are not being used against humanity! And Freedom and safety and people pulling together to help each other, and stopping it from continuing can come from more people realizing that it is really happening. Please help spread awareness, especially to government officials who can take steps to stop all aspects of it from continuing.

Give us STRENGTH, find our way through bullets hidden in microwaves, and COURAGE, make a STAND that saves our lives and FREEs our land.

Friday, August 24, 2018

Infiltrated Writings

   My first blog - ( blog started out being a fight for my life in 2011. Then, as I realized more about the targeting, it grew into a fumbling stand for freedom for myself and my loved ones and my country and the rest of humanity. But it, and its books, have been being interfered with all along. (And the same with this blog, which is why not much remains on it.) I have found dates changed on posts or posts moved to different dates. Parts of posts erased and things moved from one post to another in order to alter the meaning...etc. I have also made a lot of my own mistakes, especially while being heavily targeted with radio waves that interfere with my brain....etc.
Its been difficult for me to figure out what is happening with the targeting while still being targeted. And I have definitely not figured it all out yet. But in between my ramblings on my blogs are realizations that I hope will help all of us to regain freedom from all levels of the targeting. Most of these have been put onto And I will weed out more when I have the freedom to do so.
   As I wrote and researched I realized that the problem I am faced with extends far beyond me and into my family and communities and country and the rest of humanity. The torturous targettings are just a small part of a huge, horrible, global holocaust that also utilizes technological mind control on a defenseless and unaware populous. I strongly feel that more people must quickly become aware of the mind control part of it, especially those who are in positions where they have the power to stop criminal use of both space and ground based technologies that can emit and direct radio waves…as well as stop the distribution the pharmaceuticals, which aid the technological mind control.

I do not share very much about my personal experiences with the targeting, because my way of surviving it has been to ignore as much of it as I can. And the targeting has often gotten worse for me when I write about what is being done to me. I have been suffering indescribably, but they seem to want people to think that I am either just fine or just “mentally ill.” I don’t know if I will ever share all of it. Much of it is just too painful and I am in desperate need of it all ending so I can start processing my feelings, in private, and start recovering.

If there are ever good officials who decide to be here for me, and if they need the full versions of my other blog writings…etc., they can be produce from my emails and publishing site and storage devices...etc. This may also be important to do if anything worse happens to me or if I vanish…which I pray does not happen. Although some of my writings have been infiltrated, hopefully not all of it has been.

I Am Excusable

    I have no doubt that this blog contains some of my miss-perceptions of the covert stuff I experience. There are different times when I perceive things in different ways, depending on what is being done to me and how distressed I am. My struggle to hold myself together, under excruciatingly difficult and sometimes impossible conditions has been intense, to say the least. And I do not believe, no matter what that twisted covert world says, that good officials would withhold help or keep me in a dark and dangerous place if I do not follow the orders to completely erase my writings or make them perfectly as they want them..., even if I have mis-perceived things about them. Honest mistakes and mis-perceptions can be easily explained after those who know the Truth explain it to me. Perhaps some things have been better than I have perceived and perhaps some things have been worse than I've perceived. Perhaps I have written more than I should about some things and less than I should have about some things...etc. The conditions I have been struggling to do this in are far too much less than perfect and so the outcome can not be perfect either. Every time I become concerned that good help may not arrive for us if it is offended by any part of my heart tells me that, "The good will understand and excuse your mistakes and be here for you, as soon as they can, no matter what you say or write." 
    My intentions have been good. My writings have been a desperate aim to save our lives and help all of us regain complete Freedom. I have been writing them on infiltrated computers while being threatened and tortured and harassed and terrorized. And I feel that these things make my mistakes excusable in the eyes of anyone who can care to understand.

Give us STRENGTH, find our way through bullets hidden in microwaves, and COURAGE, make a STAND that saves our lives and FREEs our land.

It is All True

   Sometimes I think that they hit me with round after round of severe torture and threats and harassment, in order to wear me down and break my spirit and heart. Sometimes I think that its all an experiment - that they watch me and monitor my brain and reactions as they make me suffer and test me and interfere with my brain function and vamp up the technological tortures at strategic times. Sometimes I think that they vamp up technological torture on me, in order to force me to leap out of my life and into silence or complete enslavement. Sometimes I think that most of humanity is already under the influence of technological mind control and that too many condone this and do not want it to be exposed and stopped. . .and that too many are not aware that it is destroying the Heart of humanity. Sometimes I think that there are good/uncontrolled officials who are fully aware and are doing all that they can to help restore our desperately needed Freedom and will be here for us as quickly as they can. And I feel that all of these things are True, because they are.

Give us STRENGTH, find our way through bullets hidden in microwaves, and COURAGE, make a STAND that saves our lives and FREEs our land.

Still Stranded

   I am still stranded in a parking lot. I have had to tow my car twice, but am still not in a good place. Its just not good for me to be this stranded and being kept even more imprisoned and at the mercy of whatever.

Wednesday, August 15, 2018

Loss of Phone, More Trauma and A Potential Disaster

Yearn for Freedom
I am still stranded with a broken down vehicle/home in a parking lot. Since the 8th I have experienced a chain of dangerous and threatening stuff. Too much to fully explain at this time. But my car was accessed again on the 8th while I walked 6 miles to and from a library in order to pay important bills. This was proven to me by the fact that they did it during a rain storm and through the passenger door, which left a strap that was attached to the door, outside and soaking wet.  On the next day, (perhaps because I noticed and said something about it) I got severe danger warnings - a swarm of screeching ravens flew in as a woman stopped to offer to try to jump start my car and to call someone for me...etc. The raven screeches were so severe that they drowned her voice out as she tried to offer other forms of help. I was glad to say no and let her go, hoping that I had avoided the danger and that she did not do anything under the hood of my car when she tried to jump start it. (It has been proven to me that the Native American belief of animals helping us is true, when they are not controlled.)

    I contacted various levels of authorities on the 9th and 10th. Then I experienced more trauma, including being woken and forced out of my car in the middle of the night and more threats to arrested me...etc. (I am scared of what might happen to me if I say too much or too little. I find all of this too traumatic and threatening and confusing.)
   On the 11th I was forced to have my car/home towed a second time, before a remedy for my situation had a chance to happen. I had no place to tow it to and no way to have it fixed. This had been made clear before this round. It has also been clear, long before this, that this car has been being sabotaged and they want to rip it away from me. I guess this is nearly done. The garage that was recommended to me suddenly raised its tow fees and said they didn't have time to even look at it for at least a week and was going to charge me $50 per day for storage until they had time to look at it, as the push to make me have my vehicle towed somewhere else vamped up. I towed it to the parking lot of a business in the same town.
   On the night of the 11th my phone suddenly stopped functioning, causing the loss of hundreds of saved text messages and pictures and other data...etc. More loss of evidence, which I feel is not a coincidence! (I have also noticed that many of my email contacts have recently vanished.)

   I do not know what they did when they accessed my car on the 8th or on many other occasions. But this morning I noticed something sticky and wet on a pair of clean socks I tried to put on. It felt like the same kind of sticky stuff that they have often put on my steering wheels in the past 8 years or so. It appears to be to drug me. It has felt horrible to be being drugged against my will, especially since I have always avoided all sorts of pharmaceuticals and had used herbal or homeopathic remedies on myself and my children since the 1980s.

   In the past couple days, as I try to find a storage bin and get my belongings out of my disabled car, a prophetic dream I had kept coming to mind, a dream which showed 'a disaster being held off until I get my storage out of my car.' And I now wonder if someone has put some sort of explosive devise in my car or if they plan to use laser weapons to destroy it after I get my storage out of it. It is not parked in a good place for this to happen, not that anyplace would be. I called various levels of officials to report my suspicion and its hard because its based on a dream and a warning from the birds. . . maybe its nothing to worry about. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe it will be stopped due to my exposing it here, if it really was their plan. I guess time will tell if my car explodes or not. I just hope it does not hurt anyone if it does, including myself.
   I have decided not to move what is left of my belongings to a storage bin right now, in case this will prevent a possible disaster. The last thing I need is another trauma right now. I still feel a bit shell shocked and confused and really, really scared after the past week and past few years. This is all very difficult because they seem to want my storage as well, and already have invaded it more then once. It contains dozens of journals and printed papers which document some of the targeting and personal stuff as well as important copyrights...etc. Its only one big box and all I have left. The targeting has ripped everything else away from me in one way or the other. And I hope to keep it in tact. But with the car broken down and me having to leave it for long periods of time, it is too vulnerable to them even in my car.
   I hope the promise of help with another vehicle comes through and is nothing but good and safe in every way and that I am able to transfer my belongings this car into it and call a junk yard to tow away this disabled car. It won't cure the core problem, but at least I will not be stranded in a parking lot anymore, which leave me far too vulnerable as well.

Wednesday, August 8, 2018

Please Help Bring Public Awareness to Technological Mind Control

   The technological mind control parts of the targeting are too horribly destructive on unaware victims. Please help bring public awareness.

Concern for my Daughters

   I have stayed painfully distant from my daughters since around the end of 2011. Most of the reason for this has been with the hope of them being less effected by the targeting. But did it protect them from the less obvious parts of it? I wonder if my keeping distant may have been a mistake, because they have been deeply struggling with what has happened to all of us as well as other difficulties.
   However, I have felt that my daughters would have to become aware of the targeting and officials would have to be here for us, in order for things to get better and for recovery to take place and this is very true. I have been waiting an excruciatingly long time for this too happen. Through all these years we are all still hurting and suffering in various ways, all of us too deprived of each other's love and understanding and support...etc. It all hurts so much its beyond words. I know that we are not the only ones, but we count too.

Give us STRENGTH, find our way through bullets hidden in microwaves, and COURAGE, make a STAND that saves our lives and FREEs our land.

Vehicle/home Disabled

    My car suddenly just stopped running, two days ago, after a red truck zoomed up behind me (crowding me) and then sped past me while swerving into me as if to say that it was shoving me off the road. (Red symbolizes anger in the covert stuff.) I am again stranded in a parking lot! Did I upset them with my verbal venting in my ca? I didn't mean to. But I feel that good people would not seek revenge on me, no matter what I say or do, especially while being trapped in this situation where I am being targeted/tortured/tormented. Could it be because I just got another job and need the car, in order to get to it and keep it? Are they again shoving me into extreme desperation, in order to force me to call various people for help - people whom they can either target or set up in some way, depending on if they have control of them yet or not? Is this yet another aim to force me to leave my vehicle so that they can invade my belongings - especially recent printed documentation of the targeting, which is too much for me to carry with me at all times? They did this a few other times and severely in the Spring of 2016. I hope they do not succeed with any dark aim and that things get better really quickly.

I am really concerned about will happen to me.
Please pray for me to remain safe and to NOT be abducted or harmed in any way.

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

Right is Right

The right thing to do can not be wrong, 
Because the wrong thing is never right,
And something has to be right.

Saturday, July 21, 2018

Please Stop the Covert War.

   This is a simplified version of my 2015 video. I beg all who are involved and all government officials, especially leaders of our governments and military, to please help stop the covert wars and be here for us. Please help stop all forms of technological and pharmaceutical targeting and hold a Heart out to those who have been hurt and those who are suffering and those who are being tortured.

Friday, July 20, 2018

Painful Torture

   Torture of my brain and laser shots to other parts of my body vamped up to very painful levels yesterday afternoon and is still hard to bear.

Give us STRENGTH, find our way through bullets hidden in microwaves, and COURAGE, make a STAND that saves our lives and FREEs our land.

Monday, July 16, 2018

They Try to Guilt Trip Us Into Enslavement!

    Much of the technological torture parts of the targeting (against myself as well as others) appears to be set up to force me to feel guilty about living my life and to force me to leap out of my life and into enslavement with those who target us, under the guise of it being a covert "rescue." (I think that, sometimes targetings of other people are even fabricated, through puppets, in order to make me feel like people are being hurt if I do not leave and that what they do to them is my fault.) This has repeatedly happened to me, in various ways, including a V2K message in 2006, which said, "Your children will be alright if you leave." These are extremely threatening and bullying types of tactics that we should NEVER obey and let succeed. . .and that should not be allowed to continue.
   My heart keeps reminding me that we should NOT choose to leave our lives, that we should NOT continue to be forced into the covert "rescue" where we vanish or are enslaved, and that more people (especially officials) should be standing up for us, in order to stop the sadistic targeting and the forced enslavement of primary victims like myself from freely continuing.

   They have me basically backed up against a wall and I may not have a choice once they get me into a shelter or other facility where they can easily abduct me. I hope they do not succeed, but my situation has become extremely dangerous since they started more seriously sabotaging my vehicle, which is still my only home and all that protects me from an easy abduction.
   I feel that too many victims have already vanished from their lives and this should all be exposed an  stopped as quickly as possible. . .the lost or enslaved victims returned to their lives where they can recover. . .and us torture victims getting the understanding and support and protection we need.

The Welfare Budget Problem

 Much of the Welfare expense problem can be fixed by exposing and stopping all forms of covert and technological targeting and its multitude of negative effects on victims who are intentionally shoved into poverty and forced to get government assistance, in order to survive.

   I just read a news article about President Trump wanting to stop the food stamp (EBT cards or Snap) program and only give poor people boxes of food. There could be a danger in this for heavily targeted people, unless there is strict security around the boxed food, because those of us who have been being covertly and technologically targeted, and literally forced into poverty, are in danger of being infected with drugs, chemicals or parasites through food sources. I have sensed, and experienced this horrible reality already happening in some food pantries and homeless shelters, as well as even in some grocery stores and restaurants that heavy targets frequent. I hope poor people, especially those who are victims of covert targeting, can continue having a help with a free choice of food in places that are less apt to be used for contamination. And I hope we regain Freedom from all that hurts us and sabotages our work and shoves us into poverty, so that we do not even have to get government help with food or anything else.
    I would not have ever needed government help with food if I were not being targeted and were free to do my work without any sort of interference. There is a serious problem with heavily targeted people being intentionally shoved into, and held in, a state of destitution and then forced onto welfare, which seems to be one of the aims of the targeting. Many of our loved ones are also targeted and prevented from helping us, forcing the government to foot the bill. If we were free to work and help each other the welfare lines would greatly diminish.

I beg government officials to please expose and stop the covert and technological targeting, which prevents healthy people from doing their jobs and getting help from loved ones.

Give us STRENGTH, find our way through bullets hidden in microwaves, and COURAGE, make a STAND that saves our lives and FREEs our land.

Friday, July 13, 2018

What's the Plan for Me?

   I feel too trapped and too much at the mercy of those who target me and  those who seem to have ill intentions toward me. (I stand too alone with all this.) This concern has grown considerably since the spring of 2016 when they disabled my car and held me trapped in a parking lot while they forced me out of my vehicle and invaded the writings I had stored in it, stealing two books and an email I'd printed as well as replacing a printed blog post. . .and I am not sure what else.
   And my concern has hit the ceiling since I had the dream about officials covertly bringing/luring me to a place where a group of us were forced into a tunnel that was set up to collapse and kill us, and since they tried taking away my valid ID - drivers license and I found that my birth certificate had been altered and I was not allowed to retrieve my lost bank account, which is desperately needed for my safety and health...etc. These things (aside from the dream) have happened in officials places and it seems like it is officials who orchestrated them.
   These things on top of the current sabotaging of my car/home and manipulations that have been done to my writings...etc.,  makes my whole situation more terrifying than ever. I do not know what is going to happen to me, but its all appearing like it intends to be the opposite of the help I have been waiting for since my first reports to various officials. I am too distressed and there has been no solid/NON-covert/real reassurance or explanations. Things seem to be getting worse instead of better and I hope they aren't, but it looks like they are. I have been telling myself that "Time will tell" for years now, but its been telling bad things. I need good things to be happening. I need things to be getting better for myself and everyone else. I need a solid/NON-covert/real Light shining at the end of the tunnel and I need to be at the end of this torturous tunnel.