I Can't Stand the Fight
I have experienced yet another sudden change in attitude in them, in order to cover up what they do to me. I can't stand the cruelty and the gross lack of care followed by pretenses of care just to silence me. The woman who was used to rudely deprive me yesterday, was used to call me today - after their failed attempts to make me erase the posts about it. She gave me a false excuse and offered even more help - she offered me another used vehicle. Would it be safe? Is it just to shut me up? Is it just to finish taking away the vehicle I have, which has obviously been the plan since at least February, in order to hide something? (A puppet said its "canceled," as I started the first part of this post, which was directly after I got the phone message and ignored it. Again, only helped if I pretend to be happy and am not upset and if I hide what they do to me, which has happened WAY too much.) I was not accepting it anyway. I was already finished with the Share program in Milford, NH being used to help me just to deprive me at critical times...etc. I don't trust them, especially after this last slam and the aim to cover again. It has been hard to be forced to get help from them, especially since they have also been used in other obvious set ups. I hope they start following their hearts instead of the covert program that uses them. Perhaps most of the people there would be good, decent, genuinely caring people if they were not being controlled by the covert program, like most other places and organizations.
I can't stand them helping me with bits that are never enough, while depriving me of help from other places (like from my own work) just to force me to be dependent on them so they can deprive me at strategic times. I can't stand it.
Help is not supposed to hurt!
I can't stand the fact that so many official cover-ups appear to be happening, in order to hide the past five + years. . .instead of honesty and explanations and resolutions, which it now seems too late for. I would have forgiven almost anything (and done almost anything to help regain freedom) for good decent officials, no matter how hurt or upset I have been while being held in this torture prison. I can't stand the fact that there has been no one here to help me and that there appears to be no safe place for me to turn to for help and protection from further harm, as they continue ripping me down...and that there still seems to be no officials who even plan to acknowledge the fact that the targeting is really happening, although they know and victims continue to be falsely labeled as mentally ill or abducted and enslaved...etc. I can't stand the fact that I am FAR too trapped and at the mercy of people who are hurting me and clearly do not really care about me and my safety, or that of my loved ones who have been being even more enslaved...etc. I can't stand the fact that no good/uncontrolled officials have stepped in to be here for us and bring an end to all this hell that has continued for too long. I can't stand even having to write this. But I want it to stop, because I can't stand any of it and they don't respect my repeatedly expressed wishes for it to stop. I can't stand the fact that they keep threatening to deprive me of professional help arriving HERE for me when they do not like what I write and when I do not cover up what is being done to me, like they did again as I write this post. I can't stand it.